Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Four minutes until I can fart!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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