I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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