I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
