Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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