apparently the secret to your success is patron
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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