I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
