...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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