Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
