Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
