Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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