i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
