Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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