u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
