sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
