Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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