Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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