And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
