Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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