he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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