Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
be right there i have to get my cape
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize