i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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