the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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