I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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