I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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