good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
