yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
