I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
