what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
