so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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