You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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