This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
