Your tits are I can't wait for
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
