How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
