2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Less talking, more tequila
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
