Pants 0. Shit 1.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
