You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
