You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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