Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Congratulations! We have a period
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
