you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize