Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
