I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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