No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
