Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
