Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
