I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize