question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So vagazzling was a success
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
