i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
