and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
