no, he came in my armpit
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
