Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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