If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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