belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
