Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
