ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
