im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
