you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Randomize
