just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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