just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
