I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
we should paint friendship bongs
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