Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize