We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
