Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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