If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
