I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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