you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
