her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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