your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
